The Life and Times of the Curious Cockroach

Last time on “The Infinite Possibilities of O”: Alyona Andreevna Volkova attempts to find husband through superstition. Accidentally curses herself with broken mirror. Bedroom walls covered by tiny white spiders. Appearance of squeaky stool and a toad woman named Fortune. The purchase of twenty kilograms of apples as a way of conjuring up future husband’s name in a dream.

“Say what? My electric saw? And just what do you intend to do with an electric saw, young miss?” asked Mr. Kosakov, who stood at his doorway with a mug of steaming tea in his hands.

“Womanly matters, Mr. Kosakov,” said Alyona grimly.

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Last time on “The Infinite Possibilities of O”: Alyona Andreevna Volkova’s nineteenth birthday. Dreadful event in a dreadful city. Examination of hands to assess the effects of ageing. Decision to get married as soon as possible, to avert spinsterhood and future assaults by grandmother’s sand timers. A plan. Two cockroaches scorched by tea kettle.

As Alyona unscrewed the mirror off her bathroom wall, she thought of the day Ukraine’s soon-to-be swimming champion plucked out both eyebrows. His lady fans had been petrified with indignation. They wrote angry letters to the press, calling back the signature brows that had once filled television screens with irresistible, mysterious expression.

“I just needed an edge,” he had told the Kiev Gazette, “or to at least to believe I had one.”

As Alyona slid the mirror underneath her pillow, she felt she truly understood the man. Living in a city where crazed single women were plenty and eligible bachelors were few, Alyona needed an edge just as badly. That’s why she had decided to dabble in superstition, just for a moment or two.

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