The Life and Times of the Curious Cockroach

November 15th, 2010
Location: high school
Activity: surrogate mothers in India, medical tourism, video + discussion
Classroom enthusiasm levels: low

Haze of tobacco in front of high school doing wonders for stress levels, should really consider taking up smoking.

November 18th, 2010
Location: high school
Activity: not applicable (n/a)
Enthusiasm levels: non-existent (literally)

Some teachers on strike. No one showed up to class.
Apparently strikes are against President Sarkozy’s attempt to bump retirement age from 60 to 62.

December 2nd, 2010
Location: high School
Activity: n/a
Enthusiasm levels: v. high, but not inside classroom

Students now on strike too. How lovely that they are so far-sighted and are already thinking about their retirement. One student showed up to class, but only to ask me if I wanted to go on strike as well. Said I feared Ministry of National Education would deport me back to Canada.

Spent rest of class looking out of window, twiddling thumbs, watching my students making picket signs in courtyard. “RETIREMENT AT 62, MY ASS”  and “SARKO, YOU’RE FUCKED” were some of the more popular ones, apparently.

Then it looked as though students were barricading school doors with garbage bins, so decided it was time to vacate the premises.

December 3rd, 2010
Location: middle School
Activity: Justin Bieber PowerPoint presentation, discussion, quiz
Enthusiasm levels: extremely low & extremely high at the same time

Mixed reaction when unveiled life-size Justin Bieber projection on whiteboard: eruption of squeals (girls) and furious groans (boys). One student asked me if I knew Justin Bieber, since we both live in North America. Air of expectancy filled room instantly. Said that yes, have run into him once or twice, as we happen to go to same hair dresser. V. cute kids.

December 6th, 2010
Location: high School
Planned activity: n/a
Excitement levels: n/a

Teachers and students still on strike. No one showed up to class, but neither did I, after learning that the Spanish Language Assistant was accidentally barricaded inside school for unspecified amount of time.

January 20th, 2011
Location: high school
Activity: planning bank robbery
Enthusiasm levels: high

Have been getting through to teens lately, they’ve been more engaged — wonder if this has something to do with fact that my latest lessons have mostly been crime-related.

Did PowerPoint presentation on history’s most famous bank robberies (have never seen more attentive group of students), then divided class into gangs, gave them bank floor plans, asked them to plan robbery, then explain it to class in English. Some alarmingly creative ideas, made Oceans 11,12, &13 look like peanuts.

Love the lovely students.

February 4th, 2011
Location: high School emergency bunker (aka Principal’s Office)
Activity: Catastrophic Event Drill
Enthusiasm levels: mixed

Class cancelled due to Catastrophic Event Drill. On today’s Potential Catastrophe menu: if the stream suddenly floods and wipes out entire village.

Found that drill was difficult to take seriously, because:

1) the “alarm” consisted of the Principal running from floor to floor with megaphone, yelling disjointedly: “CATASTROPHIC EVENT DRILL (simulated siren here)… IS ON NOW (simulated siren here) HOW DO YOU GET THIS BLOODY MEGAPHONE (siren) TO STOP CUTTING ME OUT (siren) WITH BLASTED SIRENS … AH, GOT IT, THANK YOU MADAME DUPONT… THE STREAM HAS BEEN  … FLOODED (siren siren siren) BLASTED MEGAPHONE … CATASTROPHIC EVENT DRILL OFFICIALLY … (siren) ON ”

2) The entire first floor claimed they couldn’t even hear the megaphone, thus spent the drill being confused and playing cards

3) The hazardous stream in question is called “La Bave,” which, in French, means:

bave: [bav] nf  (of person)
dribble; (of dog) slaver; (of
enraged dog) froth; (of
slug) slime

This evokes every image but one involving raging floods and uprooted buildings…but, I suppose, one can never be too careful.

 

April 15th, 2011
Location: High School, then Middle School
Activity: maple-syrup-tasting party
Enthusiasm levels: bitter-sweet (hardy har har)

My last week of work, decided to do something fun/cultural. Throughout the week, teens at high school gave me grim nods in the hallways.12-year-olds at middle school gave me sad looks, sometimes pulling me aside and asking last-minute questions:

“Madame, vat life eez like, in snow and ice?  ‘ave you ever saw Brad Pitt? Or Zac Effron, at least? And you too eez famous, like everyone een America North?”

Goodbye students, goodbye colleagues, goodbye France, goodbye sunshine and sweet breeze….back to America North I go!

 

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