The Life and Times of the Curious Cockroach

Written on September 19, 2008
Location: Université Libre de Bruxelles
First day of classes

Université Libre de Bruxelles (ULB)

‘

“Qui est anglophone, ici?” [Who is anglophone here?]

Suddenly I was summoned out of my daydream, back into the giant Janson auditorium for my Twentieth-Century Literature lecture. I automatically put up my hand in answer to the professor’s question.

“Ah! Bien! Vous pouvez lire ce poème en anglais, s’il vous plait?” [Ah! Great! Could you read this poem for us in English, please?]

To my utter horror, I realized the professor was addressing me. He called me to the front of the auditorium, gave me the microphone, and had me read “Still Looking Out for Number One” by Raymond Carver.

I think I blocked the next three minutes out of my memory. But I do remember that as I waded back to my seat through the rows of seats (and their occupants), the four hundred students who filled ULB’s largest auditorium cheered and whistled. Needless to say, I had just ruined my strategy of remaining unseen for the next ten months of my life. And my first day of classes had only just begun.

My cheeks were just starting to regain their usual colour, when a small paper ball bounced off the side of my head.  Enclosed was a phone number from someone named Mathias.

Lesson learned : think first, raise hand second. Or better yet, just never raise hand.